Deviation Actions
Would appreciate any helpful tips and suggestions based on how it translates to ya. Doesn't have to be a full on finished page or anything like that just a general "what you thought I meant" and then to give me your suggestions afterwards.
If you end up helping me out, if you could post the results here in the forum that'd be great.
For anyone who takes up the script an would like the music that I feel best goes with the scene here's the link: www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZxnqST…
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Beyond The Mirrors Eyes: Page #???? - Chapter ???:
Summary of Page:
Suddenly white mechanical arms fall from the ceiling, creating a translucent half-sphere like structure around the sides of Aaeva. Their robotic fingers, a metallic jet-black and grey, lock in like hands to hold the mysterious half-spheres in place, uprighting her body. The phenomena however goes unnoticed. Aaeva, still unable to move, begins to take in things through her other senses closing her eyes. Focusing on the inner functions of her own new figure.
Narrative/Aaeva: So this is life...
[I've been creating this in google docs so the notes I leave can't be seen but she goes into a Mind Palace, much like what happens in the Television show "SHERKLOCK" Link: www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gz8QbD… - 2:02) for her however her mind palace is just a white spaceless, boundless plane of existence. Because she's unable to move I wanted to express her connecting with her other senses through her mind palace.]
She feels as her artificial heart beats inside her chest; each compression like the last; sending new life and energy over every part of her body. She takes in for the moment the feeling of the air passing in through her nose and into her lungs. Her chest expanding and and compressing as her body continues to be up-righted. It’s then she notices the faint drifting sound of music in her ears. The different instruments and melodies swiveling around her. They're familiar to her, and yet they are foreign to her, so new, so different. This feeling the same for the other senses.
Narrative/Aaeva: It’s Beautiful…
Notes: For this page the utilization of her “Mind Palace” will be essential in expressing her use of her other senses. Since she is transfixed in the confines of the room unable to move it’ll be the job of her mind palace to show readers that she’s getting in tune with her other sense through a physical gesture her mental self does. Such as touching her chest to indicate she’s listening for her heart beat. Or tilting her head to show she’s breathing through her nose with wind blowing her hair to the back of her. The goal is to stray away from having things explained through words and more by actions.
Panel Outline:
The second page will be comprised of Five(5) panels split evenly from the page. The third page will be comprised of Nine(9) panels.
PAGE #02 of 2-3/PANEL #1: Here will be a side shot close-up shot of Aaeva showing from the top of her head down to just about where we’d start to travel down her upper rib cage.
PAGE #2 of 2-3/PANEL #2: We then cut to an undershot of Aaeva that’s almost full body; just below her knees, the feet escaping the readers view. Her hair swirls around and her arms remain outstretched. We see from this undershot view the ceiling of the room open up to see the arms descending down.
PAGE #2 of 2-3/PANEL #3: Now from a horizon shot we see the arms at the side of Aaeva her hair facing the reader as her body lays down flat in the air at a slight down-ward angle, just enough to capture her buttox and upper back.
PAGE #2 of 2-3/PANEL #4: A smaller box (just about 1/8th the size of the above panels) connecting between both the Third(3rd) panel and the Fifth(5th) panel is where the Fourth(4th) panel will lie; more so on the Fourth(4th) panel than the fifth as not to take up to much space in the Fifth(5th). Here we will have the panel split diagonally to show the hands of the machines which are holding the spherical barrier.
PAGE #2 of 2-3/PANEL #5: This panel we’ll have one of the arms in the foreground of the frame/the readers eyes. It’ll be bent at the (elbow) as if grabbing something from off a low standing coffee stand. We’ll capture this at an angle so that we can capture the second arm in the background as well. Aaeva in the middle more progressively upright than the following panels from before with her head tilted up. (Here on this last panel is where we will have Aaeva speaking)
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PAGE #3 of 2-3/PANEL #1: On a black background we'll have a small rectangular box that is all black. This will be the starting of another fading into Aaeva’s Mind Palace.
PAGE #3 of 2-3/PANEL #2: A progressive ascension into Aaeva’s mind palace. Going from all black to white.
PAGE #3 of 2-3/PANEL #3: Here we see a Close-Up shot of her upper body. Head leaning down with her eyes closed. Her hand placed on her chest (This could be broken into another panel of the shot of her hand on her chest) This will be a thicker rectangular panel.
PAGE #3 of 2-3/PANEL #4: It’s here we see Aaeva’s artificial heart beating and pumping through her a white and blue, light liquid. SFX: Bthump Bthump Bthump
PAGE #3 of 2-3/PANEL #5: Next we see Aaeva’s head lifted up a smile on her face and her hand on the center of her chest. Her chest puffed up to it’s fullest as she takes in air. Her face is a look of bliss, a look of freedom.
PAGE #3 of 2-3/PANEL #6/7: Here we see Aaeva’s lungs taking in air and exhaling it out.PAGE #3 of 2-3/PANEL #8: Here you are free to illustrate the sound of music coming through (I'd suggested melodies or notes starting small and ascending out to cover a part of the page.
PAGE #3 of 2-3/PANEL #9: A picture of Aaevas ear
